It’s that time of year. Christmas has come and gone. Santa has left his gifts. The wrapping paper is strewn all over the floor, and it’s time to write those thank-you notes.
I have made some observations about my current school that I hesitate to mention, because I don’t want this to come out wrong, and it could so easily. Then why attempt it, you may ask. I believe it is very telling. I wonder whether it is only indicative of the neighborhood in which I teach, although I’ve taught in high-poverty, low socio-economic, Title I areas before. I also wonder whether it’s a sign of changing times.
One of the observations is the role of the Parent-Teacher organization within the school. All of my other places of employment have had PTOs that are focused on making their school better for their students and supporting teachers in any way they can to help bring that about. At one school, granted within close proximity to a country club neighborhood, I would go so far as to say they spoiled their teachers.
Upon every teacher’s birthday, that person was treated to all sorts of goodies by the parents of the students in that room. I was so fortunate one year to have particularly grateful parents who, not only brought me a beautiful bouquet of my favorite flower, but also brought breakfast and lunch to me in my classroom, as well as small tokens of cards and little gifts they’d had the children bring me from home.
Every quarter, the PTO would hire a nice local restaurant to cater a lunch for the teachers, while the parents watched the children in the cafeteria and gave the teachers a duty-free lunch. They would decorate the tables, include a dessert we could take back to our classrooms, and give away door prizes and special treats to the teachers.
Every August, the teachers all received $150 checks to spend on supplies for our classrooms so that we didn’t have to spend so much out of our own pockets. The parents ran all the fund raisers, helped with the Scholastic book sales, and even chipped in money so the teachers could buy a book or two of their choice for their classrooms. One Friday out of every month, the parents came in and popped popcorn for the entire school, and we were allowed to show a video while the children enjoyed their treat. It was a welcome break for all of us, students and teachers alike, from our rigorous work. At random times they would send around a treat cart to the door of each classroom, and the teacher could pick anything from it…bottles of water, soda, snacks, fruit, lip balm, hand lotion, hand sanitizer, office supplies.
Like I said, we were spoiled, but we also felt acknowledged by our parents. No matter how ugly or harsh or unfair the administration became or how difficult our students were, there were those moments every once in a while when we felt valued, that we knew our efforts were not overlooked or forgotten by the people they were intended to benefit. It kept us going.
For the first time ever, I currently work at a school where the focus is the same, to support the students and school, but the attitude is the opposite; it’s what can the faculty and staff do for us parents? In all fairness, I have to say there were cold sandwiches supplied for our dinner on parent-teacher conference nights where we were required to stay late into the evening, which was nice, but those were ordered by the principal and set up and served by the school secretary, not the parents. There are no catered luncheons or hot food banquets. There are no checks to help us cover the cost we incur every year replenishing supplies the school districts no longer provide. There is no acknowledgement of a teacher’s birthday. There are no free books from the book fair. I was allowed to fill out requests for specific books I would like in my classroom that parents could donate, but not surprisingly, no one did.
When these parents wanted to have a back-to-school picnic last year, the teachers were expected to run it. When they wanted to host a pancake breakfast to raise money in January, the teachers were required to organize it, purchase the supplies, set up the tables, cook the pancakes, serve the pancakes, and clean up afterward. So much for the P in PTO.
I experienced another first a few days ago, I didn’t receive a single card or gift for the holiday from a student. Usually, a lot of teachers try to have a plan and thank-you cards on hand to write notes of gratitude to all the students who bring in presents before the end of the last day before break. It’s easier to slip a note into the students’ take-home folders than it is to have the task looming over one’s head during the holidays. It also saves the cost of having to mail the notes to each child. For the very first time in my career, no thanks were necessary, because I received nothing.
I have to say it was odd, and I am still not quite sure how to feel about it. This is also where my tale becomes tricky. I don’t want to sound like a demanding lout. I’m not. I don’t need anything. While I have received such items in the past as articles of clothing, $50, $100, and once even a $200 gift card, I don’t expect anything of the sort. It’s not the size or the quality of the gift at all.
And, yes, just in case you are wondering, I know that I am working in a neighborhood that is always suffering financially in a year that has been absolutely horrendous economically. Many parents have lost their jobs, and my heart goes out to them. I would not want them to take one penny of their money that they need for rent or food or utilities to buy me anything. (On the contrary, I have done my fair share of playing secret Santa, leaving anonymous greetings with grocery store gift cards in the mailboxes of students I’ve known whose families were struggling.)
It’s the attitude. In a year when our school has given free-of-charge all sorts of paper, crayons, markers, pencils, and other school supplies to our students and their families to take home and use for school work, a year when I’ve never worked harder, longer, smarter, or more flexibly to do my best for these children, there really wasn’t even ONE family who thought to have their child write a little note of thanks or to wish me a happy holiday?
Well, despite the recent trend of receiving nothing and having to risk my life to serve, I will continue to give my students presents for the holidays. I will continue to do my best for them, learning everything I can to continually improve my teaching, to spread myself as thinly as possible, to keep working and pushing despite exhaustion and lack of appreciation from my administration, my parents, and my children. I’ll keep stepping in and teaching my students to be civilized, productive human beings. I’ll keep providing supplies and food when their parents don’t, having their hair brushed by the school nurse because the mom never takes care of it, changing their clothes and having them laundered when they come to school so filthy that there’s no way to hide the parental neglect. I’ll keeping making the calls to the Department of Family Services when I discover the bruises and welts on their bodies where they’ve been beaten and when little girls finally find a way to express that they’re being sexually abused. Why? Because it’s my job; it’s what I’m paid to do. No, it’s more than that, and every teacher knows it. It’s a calling. You don’t go into this job for the riches or the fame or the glory. There is none.
No thanks necessary.